I realised yesterday that I have it all wrong. Instead of going with my own personality and setting a goal for myself, I was wallowing in pain and trying to be someone I'm not, i.e. the pitiful sickly person.
So, here's the plan. I'm going back to work on Mon, Jan 4, 2010. Full time.
Now that I have a goal, I feel better. I haven't communicated this goal to anyone yet. Things may not work out and I might have to change that date. But, as of right now, I plan on getting back to work on that date. I need a target. That's just me. I can't just "wait" for life to happen to me and I've never been a "wait and see" type of person. I need to know NOW.
I also realised that I need to do something till that date. My energy level was pretty high today so, instead of buying barbecue chicken from the store for Camran's lunches next week and paying $7.99, I made my own chicken. I broiled it in the oven in garlic and lemon and it turned out pretty good.
I also ordered a whole bunch of books from the public library on various subjects, like Lupus (of course), writing a romance novel and parenting. I need to keep busy till that Jan 4 date.
List of things to do for tomorrow:
- Print out and complete LTD forms
- Retrieve Personal folder from work
- Organize payment plan for debt with Aamir
- Follow-up with Dr. Licorish (I hate the Keppra)
I feel so much better now that I have a back-to-work date in mind. I figure even if I can't drive, I can still go back to work. I'm a planner by nature, you see. I need goals and objectives even if I sometimes procrastinate and things don't go according to my perfect plan.